Sleeping With The Enemy
by SnorkackCatcher
Summary: Hermione, Ron, and Lavender triangulation, set during HBP.


I can't see her – _Her!_ – in the next bed, not through the hangings – but I can _hear_ her. Oh yes, I can _hear_ the cow all right. I can hear her breathing – quiet, regular, _easy_. She's lying there peacefully, not a care in the world, while I'm lying here _crying_ on my pillow. _She's_ not crying, is she? Oh no. She's _perfectly_ happy, I bet. When I was losing my rag tonight, _She_ was just standing back looking like the cat that's got the cream. Why shouldn't she? After all, it seems _She's_ the one _Ron_ wants. 

It's _not fair!_ I just _know_ it was _me_ who really got his interest first, not … not _Her_. It was _me_ who actually tried to make it _plain_ what I felt about him. Why oh why couldn't something have happened for me and Ron _before_! Why did I _wait_ till this year to make a move? I could so easily have gone to that _Yule Ball_ with Ron – if I'd just waited a bit longer, if I hadn't already said _yes_ to the first boy to ask me in case no-one else did.

Well all right, it would only have been because he and Harry hadn't got dates yet, but it might have been a _start_, mightn't it?

Hah! A start. Yeah right, dry your eyes, girl, it's finished now, isn't it? And I've got to face Her in the morning now, somehow, Merlin knows how, because I don't. I don't know how I'm going to face poor _Ron_ either, after the way I completely went to pieces when I saw them tonight ... oh you deserved it though, Ron, you … you … you … you _bastard!_

Yes! That felt good. Poor Ron? Hah! You _bastard_, Ron, you _bastard_!. Leading me on all this time, letting me think – hope – you might actually _care_ about me. I _wanted_ to think you cared about me, Ron, you … you _bastard_! I can be really really _stupid_ sometimes.

Oh hell. I'm going to have to face you and _Her_ together tomorrow, aren't I? And the next day, and the day after that, and the rest of the _year_, wouldn't be surprised. And each night I'm going to have to come up here and get ready for bed and try to go to sleep knowing She's in the next bed, and then wake up in the morning and get up to see Her looking smug, and I'm going to have to pretend like mad. Pretend I don't really mind. Pretend I didn't cry my eyes out over it. Pretend I couldn't care less about Ron or who he's with. Oh yeah, like everyone's going to believe _that_.

Self-examination. Me, doing _self bloody examination_. It's a bitch, isn't it? As big a bitch as _Her_! I'm _pathetic_! I've always had a bit of a crush on Ron, really. The poor lamb's just so … so … so _sweet_ sometimes, even if he is totally clueless, bless him. Suppose I even used to find those stupid crude jokes he made in class funny, not like I was ever going to let him know if I could help it!

Maybe I should have. Why couldn't you have _noticed_ that, Ronnie! Other people noticed. My Oh-So-Pretty-And-Popular friend, _she_ noticed. Yeah, of course she noticed. (When she wasn't keeping half an eye on Harry anyway. Hasn't got _her_ very far, has it? He only had eyes for that Cho Chang.) Oh all right, she found it a bit of a laugh, but she _did_ notice, she _did_ encourage me to finally have a go this year. Reckoned in the end, I'd just have to swallow my pride and make it so obvious he couldn't possibly _miss_ it before the daft prat cottoned on that I really liked him.

Well, fair's fair, she was right, wasn't she? It worked – well, I _thought_ it worked, before tonight. Hah! Suppose _She_ must have _outbid_ me, mustn't she, been even _more_ obvious. Ron wouldn't ever have gone for Her _otherwise_, would he? Not that I've ever been able to prise him away from Harry long enough to _get_ him to notice me before, especially not last year with all that … that You-Know-Who thing going on. I can still hear Her – yes, _you_ in the next bed, Little Miss Go-Behind-My-Back! – shooting her mouth off about it the first night back. It was all talk about Harry and the DA last year, wasn't it? Never gave Ronnie a thought _then_ did you?

Yeah, Her in the next bed. I can still hear Her all right. Turning over, probably having _sweet dreams_. What are you dreaming _of_, eh? Whatever it was you were doing with Ron tonight when I caught the two of you sneaking around together? No I don't want to think about that but I can't bloody _stop_! Oh Ron … you bastard. I don't _want_ to picture you … kissing Her when you should have been kissing _me_ or imagine you _holding_ Her like you held me or you and Her … no, you _couldn't_ have been. Could you? You wouldn't. Not with _Her_. Not with Little Miss Peaceful in the next … is that why … oh _hell_ I'm going to start crying again! Why couldn't She just have stuck with the nice Irish boy she pulled and left _Ron_ alone?

I'm not even surprised. Not really. I've been wondering if She was starting to take an interest in Ronnie for a while now. She was being suspiciously _nice_ to him all of a sudden, like she'd hardly said a word to him for _ages_! Poor lamb, he must have been flattered by it ... oh _sod him_ he's not poor _anything_, is he? _Sod him_, the creep, if he wants that cow more than me. I don't know what he thinks _She_ can give him that _I_ can't. At least _I_ wanted our relationship to be serious.

Wonder if Harry knows about Ron and _Her_ yet? Probably does. He and Ron must tell each other everything. Those two are practically joined at the hip. That's why tonight, I finally _knew_. When Ron came down the boys stairs with Her, and Harry was nowhere in sight, I _knew_. I knew I was out of luck. I knew I couldn't keep pretending Ron really wanted to keep going out with me, not any more. I _knew_ She'd cut me out. I knew _She'd_ won.

And I'd bloody _lost_. And then I lost it completely. And now I have to lie here, with Her sleeping peacefully in the next bed. Peacefully. Hah! I'd like to strangle her with her own stupid bushy hair. And I'm going to have to just _cry myself to sleep_, and try not to hear _Her …_


End file.
